DAVE: And now - the Dr. Seuss Bible.

One day God said this is what I will do, I'll send down my son, I'll send him to you, to clear up this humpity bumpity hullabaloo.

His name will be Christ and he'll never wear shoes, his pals will all call him the King of the Jews.

He didn't come in a plane, he didn't come in a jeep, he didn't come in the pouch of a high jumping voveep.

He rode on the back of a black sassatoo, which is the blackiest creature you ever could view.

He rode to Jerusalem, home of the grumpity Jews, where false prophets were worshipped, some even in twos.

There was Murray Von Murr and Gengis Vo Vews, the one you could worship by taking a snooze.

Christ spoke from a mound, which is a pile of ground, and people gathered around without making a sound, thus he spake.

Sin in socks, socks full of sin, how do we quiet this jehovady din? Do unto others as they'd do unto you, that includes you young Timothy Foo.

One pharisee said to another he knew,

KEVIN: What shall we do with this uppity Jew?

BRUCE: We can wash him in wine and make him all clean and into Sam Diddle's crucifixion machine.

DAVE: Twirl the gawhirl and release the gazee and in go the nails as fast as you please. And it is said that he said as he bled,

SCOTT: Forgive them Father for they know not what they do, for they walk through this life in toe crampity shoes.

KEVIN, MARK, BRUCE: Who, you?

DAVE: Amen.

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