to wit:

A splendid holiday tale of a small boy who wants nothing more than a train for Christmas, but finds nothing but underwear under the tree in the morning. Suitable for younger children but not for families of Fruit-Of-The-Loom execs.

A very short special featuring the jolly animated snowman in an excuse to get some NBC has-been stars down to Hawaii for a while. The entire cast of Blossom is featured. Joey says "Whoah." Frosty melts.

The Olsen Twins star in this story of a very very rich family who live next door to a very very poor family. The very very poor family looks into the windows of the very very rich family's home on Christmas to see the very very rich family eating a sumptuous Christmas dinner. Of course, when the very very rich family notices the very very poor family peeking in their window, they do what any very very rich family would do and call the cops who promptly arrest the very very poor family on vagrancy charges. Newt Gingrich appears in a cameo as an officer who takes the kids of the very very poor family to the orphanage.

Mexican import film featuring the "Familia Loco", or the Loco Family, Mexico's best-loved wacky zany film family. In this special holiday movie Nana Loco dies in the middle of a Christmas bedtime story and the family must figure out how to bury her and open presents at the same time. Originally released in Mexico as "Keep Reading, Grandma". Dubbed.

Everybody's favorite rabid dog takes a trip to see Santa and bites seventeen elves and jolly St. Nick himself. Kids love this perennial holiday treat, especially the final scene where Mrs. Claus has to go out and shoot ol' Santa.

Sister Mary Enunciata not only gleefully explains various solstice coinciding holiday customs such as Hanukkah and Kwanzaa' in this 15-minute chat, she also gleefully explains how each of the followers of those customs are going to Hell, and also which level they'll reside in, for "not accepting Our Lord Jesus Christ as Our Savior". A scary production from the same network who brought you the Eastertide presentation "Why the Easter Bunny Doesn't Visit Jewish Kids". Keep your kids away from this unless they just came back from Saturday mass.

A heartwarming holiday tale of domestic abuse. An inebriated Harold picks the wrong time to "teach Vera a lesson" -- namely, in a Santa suit on Christmas Eve, as little Billy and Susie creep downstairs to have a peek. Special really kicks into high when 30 years later the kids get dear ol Dad arrested on abuse charges and throw him into the prison, where he kills himself by bashing his brains out with the prison-issue toilet seat.

Titillating tale about a twosome who take "love thy neighbor" too literally, with the obvious results. Starts off great but gets boring at the end. Not for impressionable tots.

The only Christmas special endorsed by NAMBLA.

Live from the maximum security installation where Charles Manson is living out the rest of his days. Surprise visits from Squeaky Fromme and the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes. Musical numbers: "It's a Helter-Skelter Christmas", Charlie and the girls.

I think this is the same Bob Hope special NBC's been running for the past 15 years or so. Special Surprise Guest: Brooke Shields, as usual.

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